Why do we press harder on the
remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?
Why do banks charge a fee
due to insufficient funds; when they already know you're broke?
Why is it that when someone
tells you that there are one billion stars in the universe you believe them,
but if they tell you there is wet paint you have to touch it to check?
Why do they use sterilized
needles for lethal injections?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a
beard?
Why does Superman stop
bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
Why did Kamikaze pilots
wear helmets?
Whose cruel idea was it to
put an "s" in the word "lisp"?
If people evolved from
apes, why are there still apes?
Why is it that, no matter
what color bubble bath you use, the bubbles are always white?
Is there ever a day that
mattresses are not on sale?
Why do people constantly
return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have
materialized?
Why do people run over a
string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up,
examine it and then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
Why is it that no plastic
bag will ever open from the first end you try?
How do those dead bugs get
into the enclosed light fixtures?
When we are in the
supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart, then apologizes
for doing so; why do we say, "It's all right"? Well, it isn't all
right so why don't we say, "That really hurt you dumb sh*t, why don't you
watch where you're going?"
Why is it that whenever you
attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to
knock something else over?
Why, in winter, do we try
to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the
heat?
How come you never hear
father-in-law jokes?
And A FAVORITE:
The statistics on sanity
say that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental
illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're OK, then it's
you!
~~~Now send this on to your
friends and make them smile too!~~~
REMEMBER, A
day without a smile is like a day without sunshine! And a day without sunshine
is, like..........night!!!!
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